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I could tell of my first contacts with the feeling of rejection, but stories are very
Remember now and I will talk about the first time I "got over it". [When I got more interested in girls had a relapse.]
I was 11, but lied that they were 12, the stallholder fair that I worked not accept children under 12.
After another day of work I was with my friend Carlos, who had 16 years, we would catch the bus to the Industrial Park.
When we were at the bus stop for a moment it looked better to me and realized how much I'd been "ragged" shoes torn, tattered clothes, he asked me not to sit close to him because the bus could be a kiddies.
I reassured him, I said I would sit in the back seat and it was done.
I sat there on the precipice and I looked at what I was feeling at that moment the only thought that came to my head is that I was tidy as Carlos would not want to side with someone like me.
At that time I read a lot my friend Socrates and knew how he walked ragged by choice, I should be even more assured that the situation was imposed on me by life.
I still remember a smile very tasty, I was not offended by Carlos, I felt an envy "negative" and it was not even angry with the situation.
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That bus was going to the Industrial Park for the first time I realized I had successfully overcome the feeling of rejection, my life has improved a lot internally.
Externally the difficulties were impossible to be solved at that moment, all I could do was work and it was what I was doing.
Maybe one day I could walk tidy as my friend Carlos?
Back in the 16 years I had a strong relapse. I've told the story here tragicomic middle of my new overrun as happened when I did everything to get a girl to my house was not because he was ashamed of where I lived and that even so, after much sacrifice, she ended up getting there at a bad time.
I understood that I was what was embarrassing me in front of others was to reject myself, the worst rejection is to reject ourselves.
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"What I find hard to accept is the notion that I was wrong, and I can not do anything about it." [Nihil]
In the case of poverty, alas, I did not ask to be born poor!
About mistakes I made ... have been committed, not for the time and not back, if I messed up and ready is wrong, I am not so stupid as to believe that someday I can be perfect.
With the kind of thinking that if I could not bear to develop nicely rejection would be something terrible, I can not imagine how bad was inside.
I will not be hypocritical now tried publishing books is logical that like some public recognition so I can not say that this is not important, I do not care the least for it.
It turns out that thinking and writing is even more important, something like a climber who likes to climb the mountain, if he get some sponsors, get some recognition for their achievement is very good, but he will ascend the mountain even if these things do not happen because is that HE LIKES TO DO.
I write because I like the thoughts scream out, if 1 or 2 will read if anyone will agree, it will cause rejection ... I can live with it, have not figured out how to stop thinking or writing.
Reject my thoughts would reject myself and this is the worst kind of rejection that can happen.
Remember now when McCoy said something more or less like the Kirk:
"In the universe there are millions of galaxies and these galaxies trillions of beings, but only one James T. Kirk. "
After a tough battle against a large Romulan Captain Kirk was endless questions about what should have been done, was rejecting his own command, was near the end.
McCoy said that the life of Kirk really meant nothing before the immensity of the universe, but it should still mean a lot to him and someone would have to be destroyed it was the Romulan captain.
Kirk himself together, he stopped to think about what should have done and thought about what could still do, won another battle.
There are billions of people on this planet, but only one William Robson, has not rejected the command of my mind, I know that inevitably will be devoured by more than fight will be destroyed, but not here, not now, maybe tomorrow ...
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